I’ve recently started reading a blog written by a Spanish guy who lives in Tokyo, called Kirainet. His blog is written in Spanish but he translates a lot of his posts to English also, but since I can read both well enough I end up reading everything he writes.

I found a post which is a compilation of photos of people in Tokyo taken in 2008 and I couldn’t help but realize that if some people in those photos wore what they are wearing here in Lisbon, Portugal, they would be stared at constantly, and possibly even laughed at. Personally, I’d like to see that much style diversity here. It would make a change.

For those of you reading this and who aren’t in Lisbon or Portugal, allow me to introduce you to the world of Lisbon’s day-to-day fashion.

The major fashion styles we seem to have here are:

Neutral, a.k.a. people who are dressing in a way that they could go to work in. This will include a variety of neutral sub-styles, such as people who wear formal suits and people who wear a typical jeans plus t-shirt combo, among many others. EDIT: Most people I see are part of this category.

Skanky Hos, a.k.a. chicks with miniskirts shorter than belts, and with a very intense lack of colour coordination (but always wearing a lot of pink!). You’ll find these specimens wearing round earrings so huge that a parrot could land in them, and excess makeup which they are wearing to look more grown up but simply makes them look like a failed transvestite. Also, you’ll note that they usually have horrible perm jobs on their frequently crappy-blond dyed hair, and they are wearing so much fake bling that you can hear them coming a mile away.

Of course, they will be loudly chewing bubblegum while even more loudly talking to their equally skanky ho friends about something that no one gives a crap about, but everyone in the vicinity would strangle them just so they stop squealing.

Bad Boy-Wannabes, a.k.a. guys who dress in sports clothes three times their size, hear crappy rap/hip hop/kizomba ‘music’ (note the little ‘s around it) on their cellphones while not using earphones because of COURSE everyone else on the bus wants to know how absolutely laughable their musical taste is. They usually also carry a lot of fake bling, just not as much as their female counterparts, the skanky hos. You’ll find them wearing baseball caps sideways because they apparently want to be Disney’s Goofy ever since they were five and they will walk like they have a severe motor coordination problem.

These specimens will talk loudly while being part of a pack of three or more bad boy wannabes because otherwise, instead of people quietly maximizing their distance to them, they would simply laugh at their lack of fashion sense and the fact that they walk like they had their ass raped by a very large elephant. Bad boy-wannabes are especially amusing to watch when they are white guys who would give their right leg to have been born black. Maybe they did, and that would explain why they walk so awkwardly.

Sadly for the most part I am not exaggerating, but it’s still refreshing to see an occasional punk or goth (the non wannabe kind, meaning the ones that don’t think that Tokio Hotel are the best band EVAR!!11) who makes me think not all is lost in this city where horrible, unoriginal fashion sense reigns almost absolutely.

So, what fashion ‘trends’ can you see where you live?